February 24, 2011
As mentioned previously, I’ve been playing housewife for the last several months and I’ll tell you, I’ve got the desperate thing down, still working on the housewife part.
Here’s the thing: we moved away from home, away from my work, away from my family, away from my friends – changing my role in our relationship sooner than I had expected. I say that because I suppose I always wanted to be a stay at home mom but, just not now.
So now being in a new place, where the only people we know are from my husband’s school, I very quickly began to realize, I NEED a life of my own. To keep me sane in our marriage, to lengthen an otherwise short fuse when it comes to computer/gadgets/wires/clutter, I NEED something of my own to focus on. Definitely a new concept to some wives I’ve met in my new locale and definitely the root of my desperation.
I love my husband and I fully support him in everything he does. I’ve learned to tolerate -errr-enjoy the documentaries he loves to watch and I love (most of) his friends. I generally love everything about him – that does not at all mean that I want or need to take part of every aspect of his life. I enjoy having my own hobbies, my own interests, my own occasional happy hour with the girls – so I’ve vowed to make this happen and not become my husband. Not become the girl who needs her husband by her side at social events. Also, I vow to not become overly concerned about making sure the carpet is vacuumed before he comes home and anxious about making dinner in a timely manner – neither were hobbies or interests before marriage but simply chores.
So my married and soon-to-be married friends – join me in my individuality. Join me in my pursuit to be more than just a housewife. Couple friends are fun but girlfriends are too, even if it means your man will need to figure out dinner on his own. In fact, leave the dishes in the sink and join me now for a drink – without the boys.
Love,
Mrs.
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Kudos to you for realizing this and making it an effort. I did the same thing after I got married, and was miserable until I landed a job and started making my own friends. Now my husband (also a student) has dinner ready for me when I get home (ok, we take turns). 🙂